


Candlenights Getaway

by epersonae



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alpaca Heaven AU, And Magnus followed, Candlenights gift exchange, F/M, Fluff, In which Lucretia ran away to ranch alpacas, It's a Christmas to Me, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 09:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16951512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epersonae/pseuds/epersonae
Summary: A pair of guests arrive at the former Director's hideaway. A gift is cherished. An invitation is offered.





	Candlenights Getaway

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HMK](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HMK/gifts).



> Happy Candlenights to HMK, and thank you for the whole Alpaca Heaven AU. It’s a fun space to play in.
> 
> Folks not in the Wooden Ducks Anonymous discord: in this version of post-canon, Lucretia just abandons everything and runs off to raise alpacas. Magnus follows because he misses her; there’s shenanigans where he’s repairing things (and maybe breaking things?) so he can stick around. Eventually, somehow, they work things out, and gradually everyone discovers where she’s run off to. (There are a bunch of semi-connected WIPs for this AU, but I think this is the first published piece? Somehow?)

Lucretia startled out of her book to the sound of a familiar knock on the door. When she put her eye to the peephole, the small eager face of Angus McDonald was peering up at the door, his mittened hands clasped together, and she quickly cast Disguise Self before cracking it open.

“Yes?”

“Hullo Madame Director ma’am, and Happy Candlenights to you and your alpacas!” He thrust a small brightly wrapped gift box out to her.

With her voice pitched high and quavering, she said, “I’m not— You must be mistaking me for someone else, little boy.” 

“Ma’am I have a very high Wisdom saving throw,” he said. “And Mister Taako said that Mister Magnus said that this was the right place. So you can dispel the Disguise Self already.”

She let out a long sigh, and dark hair faded to white, rosy skin to dark, plump to lean, until the familiar form of the (former?) director of the Bureau of Benevolence stood in the doorway. 

“Would you like a cup of cocoa, Angus?”

His face brightened and he followed her into the small tidy house with its curtains thrown open to get the low winter light reflecting against the patchy snow outside, back into the tiny kitchen. She put on a kettle and he took a chair at the kitchen table.

“Did Mister Taako bring you?” she asked cautiously.

“Yes ma’am, I hope that’s okay. He said he needed to see for himself what kind of rustic fantasy Little House on the Prairie bullshit you were up to.” She raised an eyebrow. “Plus I think he misses Mister Magnus.”

“Hm.” She took down a big jar and a couple of nondescript mugs. “Do you want marshmallows?”

He clasped his hands together. “Oh, yes ma’am!”

“I keep telling you it’s Lucretia, dear,” she said.

“I know, ma’am, Lucretia, ma’am, I’m trying.” His cheeks pinkened as he stumbled over his words, then he looked pointedly at his gift set down on the table. “So, um….”

As he was about to speak, the door burst open, and footsteps snapped across the wooden floor, Taako’s boots shedding snow as he crossed the front room and entered the kitchen.

“Lucy, is that a  _ mix?” _

She didn’t even pause in scooping the powder into their mugs.

“Would you like one?” she said. He harrumphed as the kettle whistled.

“You got any actual ingredients in this hovel?”

“No, I live entirely on hot chocolate mix.”

Taako rolled his eyes, throwing open all the cupboards, then slamming them closed again in disgust.

“Uh, anyway, whatever; Creesh, you gonna make me one or not?”

She stirred her own and Angus’s, then tipped in a few drops of vanilla, a dash of cinnamon, a sprinkle of nutmeg. She handed Angus his mug, and he said, “Thank you ma’am— I mean Miss Lucretia,” as he looked Taako in the eyes.

Taako rolled his eyes by way of reply, “Okay, okay, yes, please Miss Lucy will you make me a cup of cheap-ass cocoa, and then where the actual fuck are you hiding Maggie?”

Her lips twitched in a faint smile as she held out the one she'd made for herself. “Here, take this one.”

He gave it a suspicious look. 

“Gets you out of here faster, doesn't it?” 

“You got me there, bubeleh.” He gingerly avoided touching her as he took the mug. 

“Magnus wasn't in town?” she asked. 

“Nope,” replied Taako with a little pop. 

She hummed thoughtfully. 

“I believe he was making noises about a fence out at the far end of the grazing field? Something about wolves in the forest?”

Taako groaned. “You expect me to walk  _ all that way?”  _

“Walking in the snow could be fun,” said Angus, which brought another groan in reply. 

“You are the one who invited yourself here,” Lucretia said, scooping powder into a fresh mug. Taako just slurped cocoa noisily. She pinched the bridge of her nose. “He was also going to work on the hayloft, though, so perhaps you could look in the barn. That's a much shorter walk. Or you could levitate and have Angus pull you along like a balloon.”

“Naw,  _ someone  _ wanted to have an visit, so I'll give him a break. This time.”

He stalked back out the front door, still holding the cup of cocoa. 

Angus took a sip, then tilted his head, looking up at her. “Were you going to tell him that Mister Magnus is hiding in the pantry?” 

“Hmmm?” 

“Toldja,” came the voice from the door at the far end of the kitchen. 

“Miss Lucretia, I am—” 

“The world's greatest detective, I know. And it's just Lucretia.” A long sigh. “Alright, you can come out now, dear.”

The bifold pantry door slid open, and a broom clattered to the floor.

“Sorry Luce!” shouted Magnus, then as he put away the broom said in a more moderate tone, “Hi Ango. Thought I was hiding pretty good, actually.”

“I’d give it an 8 out of 10,” Angus replied. “I was sort of figuring you might be back there, based on the way Miss, I mean, Lucretia was being sort of evasive. Never said specifically where you were, just places Mister Taako could look if he wanted.”

Magnus laughed. “He’s got your number, Luce.”

“I have both of your numbers, I think,” said Angus with a satisfied smile.

“I’m afraid that is actually true,” said Lucretia. She looked at Magnus and sighed. “You’d better go check on Taako before he decides to walk all the way to the far fenceline.”

“Unlikely, but sure, I’ll go see how he’s doing.” He leaned over and ruffled Angus’s hair. “You should come out and see the alpacas, kiddo. They’re pretty cool, for not being dogs.” 

Then he kissed Lucretia’s forehead, murmuring, “You doing okay?” She nodded, reaching to squeeze his hand in hers. “That’s my girl.”

She watched as he headed out the front door, whistling for his dog; a faint barking echoed over the snowy fields. 

“Are you coming back, ma’am?” asked Angus. She hummed thoughtfully without answering, still looking towards the closed door. “I mean, it’s okay if you, everybody understands….”

Finally she looked at him, his eyes wide in his small face.

“Even if I don’t,” she said finally, “you can come visit any time. I’ll always be happy to see you, Angus.”

He blinked rapidly, then swallowed hard. “Yes, ma’am, Miss Lucretia.” 

She touched his shoulder, and he let out a breath, his hunched shoulders dropping. “So let’s see what this gift is,” she said. “It’s the wrong size to be the new Caleb Cleveland novel….”

“Mister Merle says that not everybody wants to get  _ dumb kids’ books  _ for Candlenights.”

Lucretia sighed and shook her head. “I’m afraid Mister Merle is prone to generalize a bit, and perhaps also to be more rude about it than he realizes. I would have been delighted with a Caleb Cleveland novel to read this winter.”

His face fell. “Oh. Well, I hope this is okay too, ma’am.”

She was already carefully running her finger under the seam in the shiny blue and silver paper. “Of course, of course,” she said in vague reassurance, and then she lifted the lid off of the box: “Oh. Oh, Angus. Did you…?” She blinked back tears. Nestled in tissue paper, a pair of dark wooden knitting needles, perfectly tapered, with delicate swirls carved into the knob ends. She took them out and held them to the light, the waxed and polished wood silky in her hands.

“Well, Mister Magnus gave me his grandpa’s knife, you know, before you all went on the spaceship...and then I asked Miss Carey, well I tried to call her Mrs. Carey but she threatened to take me into a dark alley and cut me into small pieces, but she taught me how to, and I thought since you have all this wool that maybe…. Is it okay?” 

“Angus, child, it’s perfect. Thank you.” She wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry I don’t have a gift for you, dear.”

He shrugged. “It’s okay, you didn’t know we were coming.” He paused, sipped his cocoa, then looked back at her. “It’s really okay if I come visit?”

“Of course! In fact, if you’re almost done with that, let’s go introduce you to the flock.”

He slurped down the rest of it and jumped up, waiting at the door while she put on her coat and hat, scarf and gloves. Together they walked the cleared pathway between the cabin and the barn, only to encounter a hatless Taako, ears pointed straight up, tromping directly at them.

“Hey Creesh? Hey: hey, Lucretia?” As they approached, Taako held out the tattered remnants of his hat. “What the fuck Lucretia? What kind of perverted weirdo tall sheep...and a fucking bowtie?”

Magnus leaned out of the hayloft window above them. “I told you not to get so close to Jenkins,” he yelled.

“This is what I’m talking about!” Taako waved what was left of the hat for emphasis. “What could have possibly possessed you to name a llama”  _ alpaca,  _ she murmured “after the shittiest goddamn wizard—”

Even Angus looked troubled. “Ma’am, that is a bit strange.”

She chuckled. “You may find this hard to believe, but he— or rather she— came with the property, and with that name. There was apparently the previous owners had some sort of encounter on the Rockport Limited even before you did.”

Taako scoffed. “Nice story, pull the other one.”

“Sir!” exclaimed Angus.

“Yeah Taako, that’s not fair,” called down Magnus.

“No, what’s not fair is that this— this— this— creature has destroyed my favorite winter hat!”

“Mister Taako sir, you did say that you wouldn’t grace….” Angus paused, looking from Taako to Lucretia. “That you were going to wear that one instead of your really dope hat.”

Lucretia suppressed a smile.

“Fuckin’ narc,” muttered Taako. “Just for that, I’m gonna bounce. You ready, Agnes?”

“I did want to see the alpacas,” he replied.

Taako looked at Lucretia, who nodded, then handed Angus a small paper bag. “Here’s some carrot slices; be careful with your fingers.”

Magnus rappelled down from the hayloft. “Come on, I’ll introduce you. Jenkins is actually pretty nice if you bring him a treat.” He threw his arm around Angus and they went into the barn together.

Taako made a great show of knocking a tiny bit of snow off of his boot, while in the background the alpacas clucked and clicked happily, with Angus’s sounds of excitement echoed in Magnus’s rumbling voice.

“S’not like I can’t just—” Taako waved a hand, and the hat was like new. He stuffed it on his head. “The principle of the thing, y’know.”

“Of course.”

Then he reached into one of his innumerable pockets and pulled out a bright red envelope.

“So, uh, Lup’d kick my ass if I didn’t give you this, so, you know, consider yourself invited, I guess. Or not, whatever.”

She took it from him, turning the envelope over and over in her hands.

“Thank you.”

“Well….” He looked off into the woods and hills beyond the farm. “Thank Lup.” He looked back at her, blinking. A look of tender concern crossed his face as he glanced at the barn. “So, you and Maggie…. That’s…?”

“It’s better,” she said.

“You getting what you need?”

She took a deep breath, looking around at the snowy landscape, the pale smoke rising from the cabin’s chimney. She heard Magnus laugh, and she smiled.

“I think I am, thank you.”

“Well, uh, y’know…. Lup says, Lup, I guess you’re welcome any time.”

“Mmmm.”

Taako turned back towards the barn.

“Hurry it up, McDango, we got places to be!” As Angus ran out followed by Magnus, he turned back to her. “Don’t worry, bubeleh, I won’t give away your secret location.”

“Much appreciated.”

“Don’t mention it, no seriously, if you breathe a word…. Hey Agnes, let’s blow this popsicle stand.” And with that, he waved his wand and Garyl materialized on the road by the front gate. Within minutes, the three of them were gone, Angus looking back and waving as he went.

Magnus put his arm around Lucretia; she leaned into him with a sigh. 

“Gonna go to the party?” he asked. She blew out a breath. “I know, it’s probably too much,” and he laughed. “Unless….”

“Unless?”

“We’ll go in disguise and see how long it takes for anybody to recognize us.”

She elbowed him in the ribs. “You don’t have any magic, silly.”

“I’ll wear a costume! It’ll be great!”

Then she did laugh. “I’ve seen you try to disguise yourself. I give it five minutes, tops.”

“Perfect, then no one will suspect you!”

“That’s not how any of that works,” she said.

“Naw, trust me, it’ll be great.”

She turned to look at him, cheeks pink from the cold, bright eyes over his mischievous grin, and she smiled. “I’ll trust you,” she said, and leaned in for a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Things I googled for this fic: what do alpacas sound like? (when they’re happy they make a clicking sound) What treats do alpacas like? (cut-up fruits and vegetables) Literally just “parts of a knitting needle” and “finishing wood” because I was having trouble finding words for things. In any case, way more research than I expected for a tiny fic.
> 
> Special thanks (?!) to Justin McElroy for “That’s a Christmas to Me” for all that Hallmark Christmas bullshit that got stuck in my head. (I legit stole the name of a real movie for this title, because why the hell not.)


End file.
